Poobaba

ME& Christmas part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 17:30:00 +0000

Well I've returned home to Edinburgh for Christmas with my Mum and two sisters. I'm planning the ultimate family Christmas and have offered to do the cooking. Edinburgh is like a Christmas card as we have had two days of continual snow, I just hope it continues for the next two days so we do have a white Christmas.

However, my Christmas plans nearly went belly up after only one day. My Mum and middle sister, Lyndsay haven't been getting on. I've begged Lyndsay to make an effort to begin to build bridges before Christmas as I wanted to avoid any family arguments on Christmas day. Espically as G is coming up on Christmas eve to spend the festive period with my family.

But my mum being my mum wouldn't have it and when I offered to pick her up on Christmas day my mum started her strop by saying I was not driving her car and that Lyndsay could make her own way up. I told my mum to stop causing trouble and the whole thing just simmered along all afternoon with her reverting to type and playing the victim in the whole scenario.

I eventually had enough and told my mum that all I wanted was one day when we could get alone and all she was doing was stopping that from happening. I told her this is why I go out of my way not to come home for Christmas and that she wasn't happen unless we were at each others throats. I also went a step too far by saying if she continued this she'd end up alone and bitter as none of her kids would want to be around her as she's far too much hard work and her drinking was out of control.

After this I went to bed and told her I was leaving in the morning and that I'd told G not to come up. I felt bad as the only person I didn't want to hurt was my baby sister Kaya, who wanted to spend Christmas with us both so I said I'd go down to stay with my sister Lyndsay and hold Christmas down there and Mum could come down if she was willing to play ball.

Lyndsay, who is also used to having these types of arguments with my mum tried to smooth things over and called mum. She took all her shit in the neck and told her that she was wrong for giving it to me. The only person who over the last two years has paid for three holidays so my mum gets some rest bite from looking after my sister Kaya, who has acquired brain injury. Lyndsay then called me and said not to worry as things would be ok in the morning.

In true style my mum didn't apologise, I never apologised but she acted as if none of it had happened. But asked for a cuddle and said everything would be ok. So far she's been ok, we've been shopping for the food and have a family portrait booked for tomorrow. Fingers crossed Christmas does happen with no more family arguments.

ME& Lady Caca

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 17:29:00 +0000

Someone who does a better Lady Gaga impression than me -welcome to the smelly world of Lady Caca.

ME& my work Christmas do

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 17:58:00 +0000

Oh the shame of it - its the day after the Christmas work do - I'm at work looking like Sporty Spice in a Addias tracksuit, still drunk.

Our work Christmas do started off so civilised with champagne and fish and chips in the office, followed by secret santa gifts. Then a coach to the Proud Galleries in Camden where we had a booth reserved with a pole for dancing on. I very rarely go out with work but when I do, I tend to give it all or nothing and last night it I gave it all.

I lost count of the drinks and cocktails I had but I do remember having a great dance, worried that everyone in the club looked about 18 (I'm mid 30's). I remember the dance floor being really packed so me and two work mates decided to dance on the stage, which started a stampede of followers. Ten minutes later the bouncers are ushering everyone off the stage.

Back in our booth and it was more drinks and then showing everyone my pole dancing skills. On top of all the drink I also had a couple of capsules of mephedrone, which helped me party harder.

Oh I must say I was wearing my Vivienne Westwood bust t-shirt which got a lot of stares and some of the guys from my office couldn't help but try to cop a feel. Anyway there was about a hard core of about 5 of us who stayed in the club until 4am. I then left and got home about 4.30am, I was on the early shift so needed to be at work by 7am, so I decided that it would be stupid to go to bed, as I'd most likely sleep through so I stayed up and had a large gin and tonic before having a shower and putting on something comfy for work.

So here I am after having no sleep, still drunk and in work. At least I made it in unlike so of my colleagues. Strange thing is that the hard core that stayed to the end all made it into work. Pictures of the night have still to surface.

ME& Home life

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:11:00 +0000

Well G arrived back from China and Hong Kong on Wednesday morning. I did go and pick him up from the airport and it was nice to see him.

Despite me thinking that I'd have a great laugh without him and sleep like a starfish in the double bed - i actaully tossed and turned and had a week of restless nights.

That is so strange as the perfect time I have in bed is when G gets up before me and I slid over to his side of the bed and cuddle his pillow. I thought sleeping with myself would just emulate this, but it didn't.

The time apart has made be realised that I know that I love him a lot more, and that our relationship is based on deep values, other that sex.

ME& the best tattoo for a nipple ever

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 13:02:00 +0000

ME& weird pecs

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:30:00 +0000

This is so weird, they are not natural - he has has lady implants put in an he's proud.

ME& being home alone!

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:00:00 +0000

Well my hubby has jetted off to Hangzhou in China for ten days with work. He is going to kick some Chinese ass in a factory that is screwing up some garments as well as meeting with potentional new manufactors for the label he works on.

He staying in a rather lovely hotel which backs onto a lake. One of the beauty spots of Hangzhou, and from looking at Google maps there is plenty to do around the lake including a sea world and lots of historic caves and temples.

Meanwhile I'm home alone with the cats. I must I'm looking forward to sleeping like a starfish and not having to nudge G to get him to stop snoring. Plus the house will be a lot more tidy without him using every room as a place to deposit dirty clothes. But I guess this will be short lived and I'll soon be pining for what is missing.

I wonder how I'll fill my time - any suggestions?

ME& Paranormal Activity

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 11:39:00 +0000

After a recommendation from my sister almost a month ago I downloaded and watched the film ‘Paranormal Activity’. It’s due for release in the UK next week and while it was made with a budget of £9k it has smashed the $100m barrier at the US cinema.

So what is it about this low budget film that is making it a success? The story isn’t a new one, but it’s shot in a ‘Blair witch’ style home movie and you are drawn into the couple’s plight to gather evidence that something ghostly is happening in their house when they are asleep. There is nothing visually great or stunning about this film but the subtlety in the story is what is scary and reels you into their world. It reminded me of the spooky stories you used to tell as kids at sleep over parties to scare your peers.

I most certainly jumped at the spooky bits and it appeals to that curious sense that we all want to know what happens when we are asleep. I’d definitely recommend this little gem of a film.

ME& childish humour

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 13:09:00 +0000

Westminster Bridge, London - In the mornings, these aptly-shaped shadows all point to the West side of the bridge, which is the side of the Houses of Parliament, where our members of Parliament & Lords of the Realm meet and govern the UK.

ME& fading to grey

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:41:00 +0000

Why do I love and hate taking drugs. Why do I love the disassociation they give me, the confidence - but hate the self hatred.

Why is it when I go out gay it all seems so young, I was young and those young boys have stolen my thrill.

I don't want to sleep about, but when I go out I expect to be complimented and admired. I spent my whole 20's being admired and chased after. Now in my mid 30's, the compliments are few and it hits hard, like a fist on concrete. Its somehow harder to take having spent my youth being chased and wanted. It's almost like a I don't feel validated as someone attractive unless a stranger stamps my pass by acknowledging my sex appeal.

Drugs have detracted me from dealing with this and boosted my confidence. Am I shallow? My drug taking is minimal now but it still appeals.

No wonder my moods are all over the place, I'm an ex beautiful gay who is no longer young but still yearning to have that admiration. There is a void in me!

ME& my worst week and a national debate on drug harms

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:01:00 +0000

Well I’ve had a week from hell at work – as part of my job I look after the press for an advisory body called the ACMD (stands for the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs). On Thursday the chair of the ACMD, Prof Nutt decided to promote his academic work on various BBC programmes and national newspapers claiming LSD and Ecstasy were safer than alcohol (link to some coverage: http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/136832/LSD-less-dangerous-than-drink- ).

This claim was based on his harm index which is a great league table of all drugs, including alcohol and tobacco based on deaths relevant to consumption.

While Prof Nutt is well within his right to air his academic concerns, he didn’t take into account the role he holds as chair of the ACMD and how their advice inputs into Government drugs policy. While the overall message from Government is that drugs are dangerous and illegal – the last thing you want one of your advisors to be saying in the media is that it’s safer to take LSD and Ecstasy than have a drink – hence the fall out begins, with yours truly involved.

As a result he was going to be asked to resign, however this wasn’t going to happen until the following Monday. This is where my bad week begins – I get a call on Friday morning confirming some interviews for Prof Nutt in his capacity as chair of the ACMD to talk about the dangers of ketamine with BBC Radio 1 on Monday. Ten minutes later Prof Nutt calls me to say I needed to cancel them as he’d been called into a meeting to talk about the repercussions to his media rant. I call my contact at BBC Radio 1 but he’s in a meeting so I fire off an email apologising and cancelling the interview. Now this journalist at BC Radio 1, I would consider a good contact, someone who I have a good, trusted working relationship with, someone who I speak with a couple of times a week – so I feel I need to offer some explanation to why I’ve had to cancel. So in the email I stated that it looked like Prof Nutt might be facing some repercussions.

My friendly contact only then passes my email onto the BBC key Home Affairs correspondent, who then blogs the Prof Nutt is facing the sack. (Link to the offending blog: http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/markeaston/2009/10/nutt_faces_sack.html )

This then lead to the Monday meeting to be brought forward to Friday afternoon and the Home Sec sending him a letter asking him to resign. Prof Nutt didn’t want to go quietly and has since been courting the media meaning this was the lead story in the UK media on Friday night and all over the weekend and has blow up into a politicians vs. scientist story that doesn’t seem to be running out of steam. It has lead to urgent statements in the Houses of Parliament, Prime Minister being asked questions and a whole raft of eminent scientist commenting and firing off letters to the Prime Minister via the media.

I can tell you I felt so guilty for letting this slip on Friday, I spent most of Saturday hiding under my duvet wishing this would go away, only for it to continue to still be a top story for the majority of this week. Despite Prof Nutt’s fait already confirmed when he appeared in print and broadcast on the Thursday hailing the safety of LSD, I felt that my email had gotten him sacked. I took it personally and the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I must point out that his position as chair was unpaid and he’s a highly respected brain scientist so will not be on the breadline due to being asked to resign.

With hindsight I’m feeling a little better about it and in a way my fuck up meant Prof Nutt had a good shot at the media to get his point across before any politician spoke against him. But on the down side my unblemished work record now has a nasty mark on it. The lesson learnt is never trust a journalist no matter how friendly you think you are with them.

ME& my M.E. scare

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 10:18:00 +0000

Well I don't know how I've managed to get through this week as up until today I have felt like the energy has been sucked out of me. I have been sleepy, lack lustre and totally drained. On Monday I was off work and needed to have an afternoon nap before I baby sat for a friend. Then on Tuesday I was in bed by 8.30pm. By Wednesday I felt like a zombie and I got home from work at 4.30pm and went to bed - only getting up for an hour because G forced me.

I really felt that something was wrong with me and even began to convince myself I had M.E. - it was only when I was complaining to G that he asked if I was taking the any tablets. I told him I'd been taking the antihistamines from the draw in the kitchen in the morning.

It only turns out that these are the drowsy kind, so my M.E. theory was short lived.

ME& G's b'day part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 18:50:00 +0000

Well tomorrow is G's birthday so today I decided to treat him to lunch at the Oxo Tower, followed by the Pop Art exhibition at the Tate Modern.

Lunch was fabulous, although it was too cold for the terrace at the Oxo Tower. The Pop Art exhibtion was fun, especially watching all the women averting their eyes from the penetration shots in the Jeff Koons explicit room. Its strange how porn blow up on canvas 6ft by 7ft is called art.

ME& the funniest TV programme ever

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 20:04:00 +0000

I have jsut watched the first episode of "Modern Family" and it was histerical. Ususally I find US comedies to be rather safe but this was really out there. I urge anyone to watch it - its on Sky 1 on Thursday's at 8pm - see the trailer.

ME& a belated catch up

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 10:51:00 +0000

OMG – I am getting so lazy when it comes to posting updates on my blog. I don’t know why, maybe it’s the fact that summer is over and its dark when I get up for work and dark when I get home, maybe I’m suffering from SAD.

Anyway what have I been up to – Well Scalea with my Mum was ok in September. We only fell out once which was a lot less than I thought we would. I was shocked at home much alcohol my mum drinks. I wouldn’t say she’s an alcoholic but she is alcohol dependant – her daily intake consisted of four beers, a litre of wine and a third of a bottle of Baileys and with all that she wouldn’t seem drunk. Our only argument was fuelled by her drinking one minute we were having a laugh and then the next she turned. I ended up shouting at her and directly stating that this had been brought on by her drinking. It was total role reversal I was speaking to her as thou she was a naught child. I must say I was apprehensive about spending 7 days together but we managed it – I did give a big sigh when I checked her in to go home to Edinburgh.

What else have I been up to – well my friend Louise celebrated her b’day and took us all go-kart racing. I’d only been go-karting once before and that was before I’d learnt to drive and was shit at it. This time I faired a lot better coming fifth out of ten in my first race and third in my second race. I was happy with my positioning especially as I bet G in both races. You really get into it and feel the need for speed – the only draw back was the rather smelly racing jump suits you have to wear. One of which had a rather speculative stain in the crotch area. We all stayed away from wearing that one.

It’s G’s b’day this weekend but I’m not sure what we are doing – he is doing his I’m so depressed about getting older routine.

Other than this I’ve been very good, hardly drinking, no naught drug taking – just work, work and more work – I’m still managing to avoid going to the gym.

ME& my friend Grace

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:17:00 +0000

My old college and good friend Grace who is a noted, award winning fashion stylist is moving into TV presenting below is her first stab -really well done.

On|Off TV DAY FOUR from LowFatFilms on Vimeo.

ME& reflections on a heavy weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 08:07:00 +0000

Well what a bank holiday weekend. For me it started on Thursday with our annual work summer party, as usual I drank too much and ended up caning it as well. Despite getting to bed at 3am on Friday, luckily I didn’t need to start work on Friday until noon but I was still in a bad way. Needless to say I went to bed fairly early on Friday and didn’t get out of my bed until after 11am on Saturday morning.

Despite all that sleep, I still felt rough from Thursday night and Friday morning. Luckily we weren’t panning to head off down to Brighton until 3pm. When we got to Brighton it was a quick change of clothes then out for something to eat before hitting the bars and the cocaine again. Despite being with Louise and Simon who are a laugh I just wasn’t getting into it. G, Simon and Louise all seemed to be in on the funny jokes but I spent most of the night looking miserable.

Even the surprising abundance of guy’s that were smaller than me and a contingent of bad trannies in the disco I spent most of the night looking non-pulsed, neither on a high or low with the drugs numbing the drunken effects of the vodka.

We headed back to Simon’s at about 2am and then got to bed at 3am, and awoke about 11am. Despite being treated to a lovely organic Sunday roast before driving home I still felt like shit and this feeling lasted for the rest of Sunday and Monday and is still lingering.

My conclusion is that over the last couple of months I’ve actually done quiet a bit of class A narcotics and I need to knock it on the head as the effects just aren’t agreeing with me and I’m not actually having that great a time on them. I’ve been down this road before and I know they don’t make me feel any better and the person I become on them isn’t a nice one.

ME& the best fashion news ever

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 19:26:00 +0000

Apparently pot bellies, middle aged spread and paunches are in according to the The New York Times. Last week they ran an article called "It's Hip to be Round," saying the pot belly is back, or was it ever in? The full article and some photos are here.

Apparently, the six pack craze is a bit prissy according to the editor of US gay magazine Out. I love it. The article says that people with six packs have too much time on their hands. Successful men aren't ripped, they actually are busy people doing things other than hanging at the gym all day and night.

This is the best news I've had all month, I'm in fashion without even knowing it. I knew there was some reason I've not been down to the gym for over two months.

ME& Madonna

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 09:49:00 +0000

To celebrate the fact the Queen of the gay universe Madonna is 51 today I behold the seven promo mixes of her new single Celebration - click here

ME& my neighbour

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 17:49:00 +0000

Not sure if my neighbour has taken up taxidermy?

ME& a sexy little video

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 12:50:00 +0000

ME& my friends grand opening

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 13:52:00 +0000

My friend Lisa opened her flower shop in Highbury, Islington last night. She even managed to wangle a celebrity, Jake Wood aka Max Branning from Eastenders to do the honours and cut the ribbon to mark the opening of the shop.

Lisa has done pretty well for herself considering she started 5 years ago with a flower stall outside Blackhorse Tube station on a Friday and Saturday. She then expanded to 4 days a week, then a second stall outside Highbury tube station.

I wish her all the best with her new venture and encourage anyone passing to pop in and buy some flowers or look at the local art she’s displaying in her new shop. Hopefully the first of many shops.

ME& a quick ending

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 13:35:00 +0000

Well following my complaints of a drought I decided to initiate some action on Sunday. After lunch G went for a little nap and I went up with him. After a little snooze we cuddled up and one thing led to another. After about ten minutes of foreplay, dry humping and snogging G went down below. Unfortunately six months of no sex back fired and two minutes into my BJ I prematurely let rip. I was so disappointed at myself but then I had to reciprocate the effort and ensure G was fully satisfied while hiding my anger at myself.

While G didn’t mention anything or seem to put out by my sprint to the finish line – I was extremely pissed off that I’ve been gagging all this time and couldn’t go the distance. Maybe my twice a week knuckle shuffle to internet porn hasn’t helped the situation as that’s always done against the clock. Anyway I’m staying off the internet porn and making our Sunday afternoon romp a regular thing – I just need to make sure my little man is training for a marathon and not sprint finish. I’m also worried that I’ve lost my knack for sex – who said married life is plain sailing.

ME& Swine flu

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 17:12:00 +0000

ME& a sexual drought

noreply@blogger.com (Poobaba) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:27:00 +0000

Last night I watched a really good film called ‘He’s just not that into you’. In the film there is a couple who married straight out of college and while the woman thinks the marriage is going fine, her husband goes and has an affair with Scarlett Johansson. When he confesses the affair to her, she relays this to a friend and breaks down and blurts out that her marriage isn’t fine and that they haven’t had sex in months.

This got me to thinking about my own relationship with G – while it’s fine and I have nearly no complaints. I’m happily in love, neither of us is having an affair, to my knowledge but our sex life has virtually disappeared over the last six months. In fact if you discount a little thumble that occurred last weekend when we were off our faces and couldn’t climax we haven’t had sex for six months. My birthday came and went and I didn’t get any. This is a stark contrast to when we first met over six years ago.

We couldn’t keep our hands off each other and would be at it a few times a night, god we even used to have regular sexy showers together. While we are in and out of the bathroom when we get showered we’ve not jumped in one together for years.

Why is it that after time in any relationship that the sex thing goes out the window? Am I not sexy and appealing as I was six years ago? Why can I never be bothered to instigate sex, can I really be that tired after work. I’m now beginning to wonder if I’m actually going to be bad a sex as it’s been so long since I’ve done it. If this dry spell goes on will I become a virgin again?