When I have been going through spiky times with a lover, I’ve always had friends advising me to cut and run. And you know what? They were often right, though I invariably ignored them.
Likewise, I’ve seen mates in dubious relationships and advised them to bail out. And you know what? I was wrong half of the time, though luckily, no one paid me the slightest attention.I was reminded of how much easier it is to give advice than to live it last week. Two friends got together with exes despite reminders from mates that they split up for good reasons. Martin is back with a commitment-phobic boyfriend. This guy was so allergic to “tying himself down” that he ducked out of planning nights out, but has realised that his phobia of solitude is even greater and he wants Gareth again.
Aaron has decided that although his boyfriend’s living in Glasgow put a huge strain on their relationship, it’s nothing compared to the strain of cutting someone he loves out of his life. I’m reminded that watching Aaron’s relationship go pear-shaped was particularly grisly – isn’t he letting himself in for more of the same?
Maybe, but I’m keeping my mouth shut. Things might be cleaner if we never got embroiled with each other, never went near anyone with “issues”, if we never had sex or shook hands, and all lived alone in hygienic, wipeable enamel igloos. But then we’d live like insects trapped in amber – inert, dull and lonely.Despite re-entering risky territory, Martin and Aaron don’t need warnings, they deserve support for not giving up without a fight. Being in a relationship when its good is the best feeling in the world and every person should want this for their friends.
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